Banshee, let's get filthy...

Shhhhhh…I’ve got a secret.  Warning, hide the kids, it’s a nasty good R-rated secret.

Let’s go back to the beginning of 2013.  While housesitting for my parents, I’m stuck sitting alone in a once familiar home.  I lived in this house with them for over six years but it’s been almost ten since I moved out.  My parents keep their house very clean and immaculate.  It was the Saturday morning of the second weekend that they had been gone.  Bored, trying not to cause any disturbance in the zen of their unsullied home, I started flipping through the On Demand section of their cable provider.  That’s when the television gods poisoned my brain with the loveliest secret.  

It’s important to note that when I lived with my parents, my stay included the 18th through 23rd years of my life on the planet Earth.  These are a young man’s prime debauchery years.  Let’s just say, I’ve desecrated every room in that house in one manner or another.  Having said this, I never felt dirtier than when I sat down that Saturday morning and got my first taste of Banshee.  Their house was desecrated once more.

My life has never been the same again.  

I’d heard about this show vaguely.  I knew the creator of True Blood and Six Feet Under, Alan Ball, had gone off to Cinemax to produce a new show.  Cinemax?  The only original programing that I was aware that Cinemax produced was a show called Strike Back (which my mother and girlfriend like) and of course their variety of fine late night soft-core “Skin-a-max” fare.  What was this Friday night show called Banshee?  Friday night?  No good show comes out on a Friday night.

Having nothing better to do than to sit quietly and wait another week until my parents returned, I figured I’d give the first episode a try.  Banshee had already aired its fifth episode but I’m a respecter of art and will start at the beginning.  I had nothing to loose.  Little did I know, I’d have everything to gain.

Halfway through the first episode, there was blood, fucking, killing, fighting and more fucking.  What did I stumble upon here?  The story is about a thief that recently gets released from prison after a 15 year sentence and tracks down his ex-lover / partner-in-crime to the small Pennsylvania Amish town of Banshee.  When he arrives in Banshee, the unnamed thief stumbles into a bar where after a series of events a fellow patron is killed, who just so happens to be Banshee’s fresh from out-of-town new sheriff.  What better way to join a new community than to impersonate the new sheriff that no one has met yet and no one knew he was in town a day early.

I wouldn’t blame you for calling bullshit on me right now.  Just typing this out makes the whole show sound totally absurd.  What I’m going to type next is even more crazy.  Banshee was probably the second best show on television, behind Breaking Bad, in the year 2013.

New sheriff Lucas Hood (Antony Starr) is Wolverine in this non superhero world.  He’s an emotionally carnal rage driven animal trapped inside a master thief.  His years in prison has made him a hardcore fighting machine who’s just as likely to follow his “little brain” between his legs than the “big brain” on top of his shoulders.  Every episode, he’s getting the crap beat out of him, beating the crap out of other people and wakes up the next morning without a scratch.  Also, in every episode he’s fucking the hottest women who all seem to be stuck in this tiny, off the map, part small-town USA / part really small-town Amish community.  

I’m not going to ruin the majesty of the show by giving it a recap and running down what the show’s about.  Quite frankly, it is batshit crazy and I wouldn’t do it justice.  You have to watch and let it roll over you like a good heroin high.  

The thief’s beautiful ex-lover Carrie / Anastasia (Ivana Milicevic) is now married to the local District Attorney Gordon Hopewell (Rus Blackwell) and has two kids of eight and fifteen years of age.  Wait fifteen?  Duh-duh-dummmm.  The plot thickens.  AND THAT’S AT THE BOTTOM OF CRAZY SHIT HAPPENING ON THIS SHOW! 

You’ve got his new “partner” / landlord / washed up boxing legend turned bar owner in Sugar Bates (Frankie Faison) and his transsexual best friend / computer expert / still partner in the singularly named Job (fabulously played by Hoon Lee) which rounds out his crew and the only people who know that this sheriff is not THE sheriff Lucas Hood.  

Did I mention an Amish community?  Well, they’re just as wonderfully screwed up too.  Excommunicated Kai Proctor (Ulrich Thomsen) initially comes off like the evil local businessman Brad Wesley from Roadhouse but by the second episode you realize he’s much more evil, much more of a badass and much more than just a businessman.  Kai takes in his rebellious niece Rebecca (Lili Simmons), who Hood fucks.  Kai also has a creepy mostly silent lunatic righthand-man Clay (Matthew Rauch) who looks like he may want to join the sheriff Hood fuck train.

There’s backwoods hillbillies that serve as Hood’s first test as sheriff.  The result of which is that Hood leaves one of them dead, and fucks his wife.  

We haven’t even gotten to the Evil mob boss back in New York who has personal and emotional ties to multiple characters in the show.  This USSR mob boss named Rabbit (Ben Cross) has one thing on his mind; find the thief / ex-con pretending to be Lucas Hood and kill him.  A blood vendetta that started before and through the thief’s 15 year prison sentence.  

And if all that wasn’t enough for you, there’s the dispute between Kai and the Amish vs the nearby Native American Indian tribe’s casino bosses (who of course have their own crazed killers on their side).  Not to mention the inner turmoil of the local police who are not all too happy to see this “new” sheriff, especially as they see how this sheriff approaches the law.

It’s truly incredible.  I was hooked from the first episode and sat there and watched all five available episodes that Saturday morning which turned into night.  I had to take a shower after watching Banshee but it was the best kind of after sex, sweat dripping, blood on your hands type of shower.  Each week I couldn’t wait for the next episode to come out.  By the end I didn’t want to wash the filth off.  

January 10th, 2014 is the first episode of the second season.  I couldn’t be more excited.  While I readily would scream from the rooftops that The Tomorrow People is the best new show of 2013, I have been trepidatious about what people may think of me if I told them secretly my favorite show is this hidden gem called Banshee.  I’m ready to come out of the preverbal closet and force people to watch this show.  

This show has everything you’d want in a dirty, grimy, mob, heist, cop, criminal, sexy, thriller, speedball of crack type of show.  It’s fucking awesome.  Literally.

So let’s review.  You’re going to catch up on all ten episodes from season one and then be glued every Friday night (or have your DVR set) to Cinemax for the most fun show on TV. 

You’ve now been introduced to the Banshee drug.  Good luck detoxing from it.  You’re welcome.

Oh yeah, and there's this guy...

The Tomorrow People, start watching it NOW!

Wednesday night fun with The CW.  

Quickly becoming the best one-two punch on network television, The CW has two unlikely hits in Arrow and The Tomorrow People which are turning Wednesday nights into must see TV.  

Mostly known for schlocky teen melodrama, The CW (or just CW forsake of my typing prowess) is locking down the nerd / action contingent.  Arrow which was their first surprise hit from last season is back and now they’ve struck gold again with another surprise hit.  The Tomorrow People is an awesome new show that may soon surpass Arrow in nerd TV rankings.  

Arrow is back for its second season and is stronger than ever.  Led by Stephen Amell (Oliver Queen / Arrow), David Ramsey (Diggle), Emily Bett Rickards (Felicity Smoak) and the rest of its tremendous cast (click to see the shows IMDB page) Arrow hit the new season with a bullseye and is lobbing hot fire arrows at the competition each week.  What was once a fledgling drama that hoped to retain the CW’s past Smallville audience, Arrow has darted past the non-caped Superman teen series as best comic book show on TV, possibly ever.  

Arrow, which stands for Green Arrow who a poor-man’s Batman, was a surprisingly great show last season.  At first it stumbled along and risked cancellation but once it was green lit for a full season, it found its legs and by the finale the show had solid footing and understood what it did best.  Arrow hit all the beats of a CW show, with love triangles and family drama, but also gave ample nods to comic book fans.  While you’d wait entire seasons from Smallville to give you a Blue Beatle reference, Arrow would throw in DC universe easter eggs at a rapid pace.  Arrow was based on the outstanding Andy Diggle / Jock re-boot of the character from 2007 and includes insider comic book references in almost every episode.  Constantly last year, I would have gleeful chuckles from moments like when it was mentioned that so-and-so would be back from Central City in a ‘flash’ (see, because The Flash is from Central City) or Oliver Queen (Green Arrow) would joke that his sister’s nickname was Speedy (which in the comic book was his eventual sidekick’s nickname, a poor-man’s Robin).  The show not only proved that you could service the hardcore comic book fan but also tell good stories and have great action.  

The show that was paired up with Arrow last season was the long running Supernatural.  Out of all the remaining shows on CW, Supernatural was the closest in tone and demographics to Arrow but it never seemed to work.  

With little fan fare The Tomorrow People was promoted to be Arrow’s new companion on Wednesday night.  As someone who reads comics, visits comic book websites and basically tracks all there is when it comes to super-powered beings and their chronicles, I was vastly unaware of this new show.  Unlike ABC’s “Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD” which dominated the fall preview landscape, no one was talking about The Tomorrow People.  Not even CW made a major push for this show.  They were smart by showing a few quick clips of good looking people making things move and giving off a Push movie vibe.  I’m a HUGE Push fan so what could it hurt to set the ‘ole DVR and see what this The Tomorrow People was all about?

Let me tell you, it’s about the most awesome show on TV.  If I were tasked to give it one word, fun, would be the adjective to describe Tomorrow People.  If Arrow is the poor-man’s Batman, TP is the poor-man’s X-men.  Essentially, The Tomorrow People is X-men except all the mutants have the same three superpowers (telekinesis, teleportation, telepathy).  The premise is the same, mutants get their powers as they reach maturity and ULTRA is an evil government / corporation complex that is tasked with killing or recruiting said mutants because they’re a threat to us regular humans.  There’s even a super computer, TIM, which is a poor-man’s Cerebro.

The show stars Robbie Amell (yes, Arrow’s Stephen Amell's real life little brother) as the “Neo” of this world (I know that’s a Matrix analogy but it’s the quickest comparison.  If you wanted to stay within the X-men world he’d be a very poor-man’s Wolverine and really not accurate, trust me on the Neo comparison.  Stop distracting me.), Luke Mitchell as the “Cyclops on the real X-men” and leader of the mutant underground and then the beautiful Peyton List as the “Jean Grey” of the group.  It’s the CW so of course there has to be a love triangle involving the three leads.  It’s unnecessary but I think that’s in the CW bylaws, “All shows shall have love triangles.”  The other two standout actors are Mark Pellegrino from Lost fame and Aaron Yoo from Disturbia and “Oh yeah, that Asian kid” fame.  They’re both personal favorites if not crowd favorites and do so much to make this a well rounded show.  If they’re your 7th and 8th hitters, you’ve got a World Series contending batting order.

TP is still in its infancy, just 7 episodes in, and we’re just now getting to know all the characters and learn their backgrounds and more importantly their secrets.  Since the first episode the special effects have been used efficiently and correctly.  This is a CW show and there’s no doubt that there are budgetary constrains (which is probably why all the mutants have the same three powers) but except for one shot in the first episode, where time is stopped and our heroes are allowed to escape certain capture, the character’s powers are used within the means of telling the story.  If you’re a hardcore sci-fi junky like myself, you’ll recognize the use of some of the effects but like the Matrix, it’s not always the most innovative or new SFX but how you use those effects.  We’ve seen teleporting characters before but TP uses it as a great tool that enhances fighting or chase sequences rather than making the chase or fighting sequences about the teleporting.  It’s all so seamless and a joy to watch.

Like Arrow, TP does the action well but it’s the characters that make the show turn.  Amell’s “Neo” character could be the savior or the demise of the mutants.  He wants to find the truth about his long lost father’s death / disappearance and the only way is through working with his uncle, Pellegrino, who runs the evil ULTRA – bum-buh-baaaa.  See, it’s cheesy but it’s fun.  TP also makes the extra effort.  Mitchell’s leader character, Young, isn’t just a hard-nosed jerk “because that’s what leaders who have the hot girlfriend at the beginning of stories do,” there’s reason behind it.  He was originally taken and trained by ULTRA which he escaped.  One of his secrets is that unlike his fellow mutants, who can’t kill (don’t ask me how that exactly works), ULTRA experimented on him so badly that he does have the ability to kill.  You can understand his hatred of ULTRA and fear of them but the show also tells how ULTRA and Pellegrino’s Jedikiah character saved Young from an abusive and horrible childhood.  Jedikiah and Young still have a father / son bond, albeit very messed up bond (but who doesn’t).  I’m just scratching the surface of what we know and it only gets deeper AND we’re only in the first seven episodes.  It’s a great show.  

While Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD has Disney money behind it and is shepherded in by a multi-billion dollar franchise, I don’t know nor care about any of the characters on that show.  For all of the money and tie-ins that SHEILD could have, we’ve barely seen a superpower used?!  There’s more action and abilities used in one episode of TP than the entire run of SHIELD.  Both shows are still not even half a season in and I hope for both’s success but so far TP has lapped the ABC juggernaut.  I’m usually a “young savior get’s the girl” guy but I was so upset at the recent secret kiss between Amell and List’s characters that I continued to be upset hours after the show.  Mitchell’s Young is a bad-ass good leader and doesn’t deserve to loose his girl.  Not to some high school punk savior!  Just because he didn’t want the rest of the mutants to know he could kill?  See, I’m still worked up about it.

And did I mention the action?  Oh yeah, I did.  Well, it deserves to be said again, it’s fantastic.  Even the characters have fun with their powers.  Do you need to get across country, let’s just teleport.  Do we need some extra spending cash, let’s be pool sharks with our telekinesis.  Even when the group of mutants want a night out above ground and their leader is against it, he eventually turns around and shows up (of course, it helped that Ms. List was dressed to kill with her “assets” on full display).  It might get a little predictable here and there but it’s not formulaic, boring or monotonous like SHIELD or Dracula (which is a spectacular mess) or tiresome like Revolution has become.

As you can see, I could go on and on about my love and excitement for both shows, especially The Tomorrow People.  I can understand if you're intimidated by Arrow because of the deep DC references it makes but it does a fine job of creating two levels of viewing.  While I’m geek-ing out over the boat called Amazo, Dr. Ivo, the future of Roy Harper (and his obsession with red hoodies) and SPOILERS when will Deathstroke turn on Queen; just to name a few of the nods to the Green Arrow comic history.  My girlfriend, who knows nothing about comics, can watch and enjoy Arrow for what it is.  TP has even more appeal to general audiences because there isn’t source material that goes back 50 years.  I’m going along for the ride of TP just like the rest of the world and I’m loving it!

Spread the word.  These shows need our support.  They might not have the reach and traditional network machinery backing them as if they were on one of the major four networks but Arrow and The Tomorrow People deserve the same chance to succeed.  There’s not enough fun being had on TV.  Everyone is either trying to be the next Breaking Bad or push the violence bar like Hannibal or The Walking Dead (all of which I’m a fan of) but there’s a space and need for good fun television as well. 

Watch Arrow and please give The Tomorrow People a try, which you can start from the beginning by clicking here.

Enjoy...

Gravity Review 10/04/2013

Gravity is a movie about Science and Trust.  Whether it’s a description, recommendation or execution of this movie, science and trust explains it all.  Trust me, go see this movie and you’ll be amazed by the science behind it all.  It’a akin to a wonderful magic trick where you don’t want to know how they did it, you just want to enjoy it.  Although it’s so incredible, you'll want to know how it was made because the visuals are so unbelievable. 

This is not a George Clooney movie.  This is not a Sandra Bullock movie.  This IS an Alfonso Cuarón movie. A more accurate word would be “production.”  Cuarón is the captain of this remarkable movie and there is no doubt that this was a massive undertaking by hundreds of artists.  An undertaking that few would choose and even fewer would succeed.  Fear not, Gravity lives up to the hype.

Before I pontificate, let’s get the business end of this review out of the way.  Go see this movie.  Go see this movie on the biggest, best and truest IMAX 3D that you can find.  The price of movie tickets go up and up, and many times spending money on 3D, IMAX or 3D IMAX is a complete waste of hard earned dollars.  It’s usually just a way for movie studios and theaters to charge you more money.  Gravity is worth the money.  My price was $21 per ticket and it was worth every cent.  You could spend $100+ for a ticket to Disneyland and spend all day going on each ride and you wouldn’t accumulate 90 minutes of actual ride time.  Gravity is a 90 minute roller coaster that is just about as perfect of a ride as you could hope for.  There is no fat on this movie.  From the beginning credits you’re going up a 20,000 mile hill and you don’t stop until the final minute.  Like every great roller coaster, there are moments where you can catch your breath, stabilize and then are sent on to the next set of twists, turns and loops.  Unlike recent movies that try to be a “thrill ride” from beginning to end, such as Star Trek: Into Darkness, this movie does it right.

Both Science and Trust are key elements in this film and to the making of this film.  

The Science in this film is obviously pushed.  I’m assuming this film takes place in current or a near current time.  This isn’t a sci-fi / futuristic movie.  If all of what went on in this film were to actually happen, I’d assume everyone would be dead within seconds.  If not by the events that took place, then the shitting-of-their-space-pants would quickly suffocate them.  If I saw even one space rock fly by me at the speed of bullet, I’m taking off the helmet and going out on my own terms which would be as quick and painless as could be.  Let’s move on from my fears.

The science of this movie is standard for a modern space adventure.  Science is all around and is what makes the movie what it is.  We start out with the line, “Life cannot live in space” (or something like that).  It’s science that keeps the characters alive and what allows us to have a movie.  The science of film making is the other meaning that I think of.  The spectacle of this movie is the real science here.  It feels like there are less than 25 “cuts” in this movie.  That’s not to say there aren’t a few tricks that could be used to add edits but it seemed as though you were watching one 5 - 10 minute scene after another.  Cuarón’s other film, Children of Men, has one of the best single shot scenes of all time.  It’s the scene where Clive Owen’s character has to enter a run down hotel in the middle of firefight between insurgents and the police in order to retrieve the woman and baby he’s sworn to protect.  It’s a ballet and whether you liked the movie or not, the sheer skill involved to pull off that scene is breathtaking.  Well, times that by 20 and you’ve got Gravity.  Every shot is a beautiful painting and you can tell that the 80 million dollar budget was poured into making this film look like the best movie ever created.  “Spectacle” and “this is what movies are made for” are often thrown around too easily but this movie earns that type of praise.  

The science, technology and skill it took to make this movie completely outweigh the on screen science.  This movie is an unbelievable feat of movie making, which leads me to my second thought...

Trust.  There’s an unbelievable amount of trust needed between the characters in this movie.  What took more trust is from the movie studio to make this movie.  My biggest question leaving the theater was, “How did this movie get pitched to the studio and how did it get green lit?”

There’s really no plot.  There’s a story but there’s not a plot.  Bullock’s character is the closest thing to an arc that you’ll find.

There’s no star to this movie.  While Bullock was great and Clooney was Clooney, they were not the “stars” of this movie.  The star of this movie is Cuarón and his production team.  Clooney has about 10 minutes of face time and Bullock has the torturous task of being the main character.  What she must have gone through was less acting and more like winning the world cross-fit championship.  

The trust involved by the actors and even more so by the studio that Cuarón and crew were going to make a perfect movie is unimaginable in these days of box office tallies and actor recognition.  It takes a tremendous amount of trust by two very well known actors to essentially do their job and not know how the movie is going to come out.  Their acting was great but it was not going to be what made or broke the end product.  The studio and its executives could not have imagined what the results of this movie were going to be.  The 80 million dollar budget doesn’t fit into the current studio trend of mega-blockbuster or small indie-type movie.  

I really can’t explain the movie in just a few words.  It’s an experience.  It’s not a perfect story but it is a perfect movie.  By the end, you’ve travelled thousands of miles and you feel each one.  You’re heart will stop, your breath will be taken away and at times you’ll feel queazy.  It’s a spectacular ride.  

I feel like I’ve told you everything it’s not.  What the movie is, is great.  Go see it.  Get out of the house and see it on the biggest and best possible screen that you can.  The trip, time and money you’ll spend is well worth it.  Gravity is an awesome movie experience.

Let's talk new Star Wars

Here’s why I already hate the new Star Wars movie(s).

I’ll skip my most major concern for a few moments and address the main “fact” that we know.

Let me jump around again (I’ll try to stop but this is just how it is when we’re talking “the biggest travesty the film industry could ever make”). We really don’t know anything. We know a few people that have been rumored to be working on scripts, production and actors that may show up. The truth is most of what we know or think we know are just rumors. I won’t put too much stock into rumors when it comes to “the biggest travesty the film industry could ever make”. That’s why I’ll try my best-est to only focus on facts. But within these facts, I base my opinions which may contain rumors. Even if these rumors are just figments of my imagination to “the biggest travesty the film industry could ever make”.

JJ Abrams. Or just JJ, as how We his friends call him. What, you don’t believe that JJ and I are friends? I’m offended. Fine, call him and ask. He’ll tell you. I’ll wait. Oh, you don’t have his number, that’s right because you’re NOT his friend are you. You can’t check, so BLLLAAHHH-HAAA-HA to you. Now let me get back to my friend JJ.

Personally I don’t have anything against JJ. I consider myself a decent fan. I’m not a fanboy who’s been into his shit from the Felicity or Alias days but I like a ton of his work. There are very few fans, and / or defenders, greater than me when it comes to LOST (which really isn’t “his” but still, you know what I mean). I loved Lost and will defend it anytime you want to have that argument. From shows like Alcatraz, Revolution and certainly Fringe, I’m a fan. I can’t say the same about Undercover, What About Brian (Really, What about BRIAN – that’s been an inside joke to myself. I don’t know why, but it always gets me. Who cares about Brian, he’s such a whiny bitch. I’m glad he’s not my friend. So “what” about him? – said in my valley-est of valley girl voices), Six Degrees and Persons of Interest (I can tell you one thing, THIS “person” isn’t “interested”, get it…haha to myself. But really, I can’t get over the Ben Linus / Jesus team-up. I know, I know…old people like the show. My parents love it but I don’t, sue me.). All his movies that he’s directed / produced are really solid. MI3 wasn’t the worst Mission Impossible movie. Ghost Protocol was really good. Super8 tried to be something and fell short (I’ll never kill a director for trying something especially with regards to something he / she clearly is fond of, and not hitting a homerun. We live in a world where people and studios don’t “try” things.). Cloverfield was what Godzilla should have been and we all would have been happier in 1998 (and up until Chronicle, Cloverfield is one of the best big budgeted movies done as a POV / found footage movie). Star Trek was great. Even go back to whatever writing / producing involvement he had on Armageddon and Regarding Henry, those are solid movies (If you don’t cry at the scene when the black physical therapist Bradley and Harrison Ford’s Henry have beer together, you’re a fucking robot. It’s just one of those scenes where if you get caught watching it, you’ll cry and re-evaluate how you’re doing in life even if you just won the lottery.) And I expect the new Star Trek to be just as great, if not greater than the first one he did. I have full faith.

Deep breath in…
I do NOT like JJ doing Star Wars. Oddly, here are all the reasons I should. He’s a Star Wars fan. Much more than he is/was Star Trek, this is by his own admission. He’s able to convey and control a “universal” story. From Earth to Vulcan and even across time, I wasn’t confused or was lost during Star Trek. JJ understands that no matter the subject, special effects or movie stars involved; it’s the STORY that will make or break a show (whether he’s been 100% successful is another debate but he knows this to be true). He respects his audience. Another good example is Bryan Singer. Not initially an X-Men fan but he knew and understood that these characters and world mean a tremendous amount to a lot of people and if you’re going to work in that world you come to it with the respect that the world deserves. Unlike the Fantastic Four movies which have been cum shots to the eyes of anyone watching them. Oh the burn! Nothing from those movies (except Chris Evans portrayal of Johnny Storm) was anything close to what had been in the FF comic for 50 years. They were bad special effects explosions that seared your eyes. (Again, feel free to debate me on how god awful those movies are, I’m more than happy to discuss, but before you do let me just say two words “The Thing” because if you can’t justify the choices made with that character you have no chance at winning an argument about the rest of the movie either. Galaxy Quest had a more believable rock monster and that movie was made six years prior and with a far less budget.) JJ respects the Star Wars world and the audience. He’s a big enough director to get anyone he wants to work with him AND seems to know that a village makes a movie and has well respected people help him and collaborate on decisions. (If you’re ever interested in seeing true creativity and what could have been, look up production sketches on any of the Star Wars movies. The talent and love for the Star Wars universe by artists is unlimited and boundless. Which is especially infuriating when you see what was chosen for episodes I – III and what could have been, but also amazing because conversely the things that were picked for episodes IV – VI were some of the best. Lucas, you are an enigma.). My point being, I feel very confident JJ would bring the best he could to the table.

Buuuuttt….. He’s just fucking done Star Trek. The same god damn director should NOT do both movies. It’s like if the same director did Dante’s Peak and Volcano. Wait, did the same person do both movies? That actually would make sense. No, no, I’m only confusing myself and I’m trying to be serious. There are great directors in this world. Not one of them should do the tent-pole franchise movie for the same genre. The closest argument you could make is Scorsese making Goodfellas and Casino. But he’s also one of the creative forces behind Boardwalk Empire. All “gangster movies/shows” but it’s different in that they’re all based somewhat on real life events and characters AND although you could say the characters are different, the themes are very similar. The world in which they inhabit is the same. The struggle for and to keep power, and what corruptions will people endure and partake in, are universal themes of those movies. Star Wars and Star Trek are like if Jesus sat down, wrote the Bible and then decided to bang out the Koran. (Ok, the atheist in me says, both the Bible and the Koran are the same pieces of crap just in different packaging so who’s to say they weren’t written by the same shysters. Again, take my bias out, you get my point.) My point is, they’re in the same genre of Sci-Fi but they couldn’t be more different. Like the NBA and the WNBA. It’s called basketball but they’re playing two completely different games.

Is there no other talent in this world to where JJ Abrams is the only person who can direct these two totally different movies? On a purely philosophical point, every director has a “style”. Even the best of them can’t hide who they are. Spielberg, who has done every kind of movie (and I feel is the best director of all time) has a style which even if you’re talking Jaws or Schindler’s List or Saving Private Ryan or War of the Worlds or Lincoln, you always know, to some extent, these are Spielberg movies. Even a director like Danny Boyle, who has tackled so many different movies from Trainspotting to 28 Days Later to 127 Hours, has a style. A base where all their creative powers come from. Which is all totally fine, except for when we’re talking about Star Wars vs Star Trek. Never the two shall meet. They’re totally different in every way. If for one second I feel that the two movies / worlds are linked, I’ll be upset. I’ll be mentally taken out of the movie / world. Even if you had the same script but titled one Star Wars and the other Star Trek, I’d want them to look and feel different. They would look and feel different because it’s fucking Star Wars VS Star Trek. I can’t explain it any better. One is a space opera and the other is a social commentary of the future.

That’s the reason JJ can’t do Star Wars. It’s a totally irrational reason but totally explainable and logical argument. NEVER THE TWO SHALL MEET. Whether you’re a fan of one or the other OR both, everyone would say the same thing when it comes to Star Wars vs Star Trek.

So while I love JJ and respect him and will continue to enjoy his work, I don’t understand the thinking of having him do both movies. Even if it’s been his dream to do a Star Wars movie, he let that ship sail when he took on Star Trek. He could have said, “No, I’m not going to do Star Trek because even if it’s a .0000001% chance that another Star Wars movie is ever made and I have a .0000000000000001% chance of directing it, I will wait for that chance. Because the same person can’t make both.” But he didn’t. He made Star Trek. It was nothing to be ashamed of. It was a great movie. Continue to do great work on the Trek franchise and we’ll see you in line for Wars.

All of this, going on about the director, is really just part of the larger issue. WHAT’S THE RUSH?

The simple answer is money. If you’re Disney, you just bought Star Wars and now let’s get to milking this cow. Don’t get me wrong, Lucas has been doing this for years. Putting out crap video games, crap comics, crap TV shows, crap merchandise. You name it, there’s a Star Wars version. Maybe 1 out of 10 times you get something good, like the Star Wars Legacy comic or the Knights of the Old Republic video game. The difference is that Lucas has put out his own movies and can continue to shine them up in HD or 3D and get another financial life cycle out of them. Disney wants the big pop of the movie(s). Which no matter how awful they are, they’ll still make money (see SW ep. 1) and then they can use that to catapult everything and anything they want. I totally understand the business side. I’m not saying there shouldn’t be new Star Wars movies. The world is open, you’ve got actors from the original series that are now the perfect ages to play their roles as preludes to the next generation of Star Wars protagonists who will be introduced and Star Wars is so beloved and wonderful that it should be mined again. I just want the diamonds to be found not quartz or some geo crap that maybe shinny but in reality is worthless.

It seemed that as soon as the purchase was announced, Disney came out and said, “See you in 2014 for Episode VII!” Wait, what?! I haven’t heard of any rumors about Episode VII? Unless Lucas himself had secretly been working on this in some hidden lab that no one knows about (god help us all), then maybe this all makes sense. But there’s no way. No way a seventh movie has been worked on and NO leaks what-so-ever have come out. Not in this day and age.

Can’t we take it slow? Is the rush to grab all this new money so great that we (as if I’m now working on it or on the Disney board) can’t take a few years to get it right? If Ep. VII comes out in 2015 or 2016 would that kill Disney? Make something more about the art than the money, just this once. I’d love to hear that there was a team that was interviewing 100 directors and / or they hired a group of the top writers just to come up with concepts from which the cream of the crop will be chosen. Then based on the type of story we’ll find a director that can pull this type of story off. They just did something very similar with the Avenger franchise. Joss (another close friend) wasn’t the director of the Avengers movie when the first or second Iron Man movies came out. The idea of getting to an Avengers movie was in place long before there was a director. The bare bones basics of what all the movies that led up to the Avengers were in place and then they got the right director to bring everyone and everything together. Even then it was still a bit of a risk. The biggest reason for the success of the Avengers is the “long game” that Marvel / Disney played.

Granted, you don’t need as much set up with the Star Wars franchise. As I mentioned, Lucas has done quite well for himself by turning out every conceivable piece of Star Wars media. Second tier characters like Boba Fett (no diss on Boba, but he’s barely in one and a half movies and has maybe two lines) are household names and icons. You don’t need a seven year campaign to introduce all the characters and back story to put out Episode VII. Everyone knows Luke, Leah, Han, Chewy, Vader and the Force. We all know, SPOLIERS, Vader is Luke’s dad / Luke and Leah are kissing brother and sister / Han is the bad ass (second only to the smoothest brother in the galaxy, the one, the only, Lando Calrissian and his colt .45 sponsored mining facility, who by the way just made some interesting deals that will secure their safety from the Empire…What, oh sorry, I got carried away. Back to the regularly scheduled rant…). We know everyone and we know how everything is currently wrapped up. SPOILERS; Empire in ruins after 2nd Deathstar is destroyed. The Emperor is dead, thanks to Vader coming back to the light. Han, Luke, Leah and the droids are parting with a Wookie and his Ewok cousins (I gotta throw something out there to get people to comment on this, even if it’s to just to correct something I know is wrong. How about this, I know they’re not on Endor, but rather the MOON of Endor. C’mon, who you fuckin’ wit?). What I’m getting at is that I know the story is ready to go. I’m all in.

After being abused by the new trilogy, I just want the best Star Wars movie. Or at least, the best attempt. Here’s a great example of failure with the best intentions and possibly best efforts, Watchmen. Watchmen was a comic that people had been trying to make into a film for years. No one could figure it out. A studio finally said it was going to be done and they put a ton of money and resources and made the Watchmen movie that everyone deserved. It was faithful (to its own flaw) to the original material. Other than a giant space squid at the end, they had a Dr. Manhattan bomb which made sense how they told it and was 1000 times more practical to pull off in the movie and made the budget feasible. For all intensive purposes the Watchmen movie, even more the extend version and including the animation portion of the Black Pirate crap (I’m one of the few Watchmen comic haters so I don’t really care if I’m 100% correct on my Watchmen vocab) made the movie extremely loyal to the book. You could tell the people making Watchmen loved the source and wanted to make the best Watchmen movie they could. To their credit, they did a fine job. I’ll save my dissertation on why Watchmen isn’t a good comic and why it’s a beloved book from the 80’s but those die-hard fans weren’t enough to bring global success to the movie for another time. Needless to say, it’s a solid movie and not for a second do I feel 100% effort, love and faith didn’t go into the movie. It just didn’t work out. If that’s the fate of the next three Star Wars movies, I can live with it. It took 30 years for Watchmen to get made properly (the box office backs my points about the movie / book) and in turn Watchmen was given its best chance to be a success. That’s all I’m asking for with Star Wars.

There’s nothing I want more than JJ, the writers, producers and Disney to hit a home run. From my experience that doesn’t happen when you rush or push projects like this. What happened when the studios pushed for a Godfather 3? What happened when Batman and Batman Returns (I love that movie, I said it) turned into Batman & Robin and Batman Forever? Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull? X-men 3? Jaws, anything that has a number after the word Jaws? 60% of the James Bond films? The Matrix Returns and Revolution? Star Wars Episodes I – III?!?!? The list of examples of movies that were not needed or ready or pushed out just to make an extra buck goes on forever. Maybe it’s my own paranoia. I just want, so badly, to have a great Star Wars continuation. Maybe I’m jealous that it’s not me working on it or deciding which direction the franchise goes into. I just want a good movie.

I don’t understand, artistically, the extreme rush to pump out the next incarnation of Star Wars. The money will be there a year or two later. It’s not going anywhere. The most I’ve heard about the next Episode is who the initial writer is, who the director is and which of the original movie actors will be in the new one. (Ok, one last rant. As if any of the old actors, even Harrison Ford, wouldn’t or couldn’t be persuaded back to the Force? This is Star Wars and this is Disney and this is more money than god and they’ll get whoever they want to be in the movie. Oh really, Anthony Daniels is to busy? Doing what, giving hand jobs out behind the Walmart? I’ll take my chances and go into production on the movie and just assume everyone will come back. No shit, an actor will want to make an appearance in what will be the biggest movie(s) of the year / decade / all time. Sam Jackson is already on a plane to England to start shooting, and his character is DEAD! Thanks for all the breaking news each time an actor says they’ll reprise their role (is italics the sarcastic type font?). Why don’t the gossip rags just calm down with those newsbreaks. Get back to nip slips and beave pics of actresses getting out of cars. You don’t have to waste my time with every actor that will be in the next Star Wars film.)

It all just seems too fast. Maybe this one time we could take it slow and get it right. Not worry about the money that’s going to be made, because it’s going to be made regardless. Make a movie for the fans. This if any movie deserves it, it’s Star Wars. If any group of fans deserves it, it’s Star Wars Fans. This isn’t some indy book like Scott Pilgrim, which was a great movie and made specifically for the 259 die-hard Scott Pilgrim fans (by the way, it’s a good movie). There is no risk involved. The next gen Star Wars movies will make all time record money. Whether it’s today tomorrow or next year, the money will be there because of the enormity of the fan base. Take the time to make it right. I’ve already mentioned the obscene amount of money Lucas has already made by whoring out his properties. I’d bet that 1 out of 4 people have bought some piece of junk just because it has something to do with Star Wars. Give something back to the fans. Not only as a “thank you” for previous spending but as a jump-off to the next round of Brink’s trucks you’re going to be able to grow on trees. Take the new Bond movie, Skyfall. Everywhere you turn that movie is influencing pop culture, in a good way, and everyone wants to be associated with the Bond flavor. It’s revitalized the old shitty Bonds and made the old good ones shine even brighter. Imagine what a GREAT new Star Wars movie will do?

For all my hesitation, I’m so excited. I want a new Star Wars movie. I want a new Trilogy. I also want it to be good and I don’t care if I have to wait an extra year or two to get it. Patience and big business don’t usually go hand in hand. You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t have the highest faith in a project that seems to be pushed by the business end of a studio rather than the creative end. Here’s my challenge to Disney, JJ and everyone else; PROVE ME WRONG. If you’re going to hit the hyper-drives, then show me that you’re not going to fly into a star and blow up. Let’s plot out an awesome story that isn’t just some rehash of the old movies. Have it live in the universe of Star Wars, give nods and even base some plot points strait out of the first six movies but then also take some creatively planned artistic chances. There’s no lack of major league artists (visual, writing, special effects, etc.) that would die to help be a part of this project. If there ever was a “holy grail” of a movie, this is it. Use this enormous toolbox to give all of us Star Wars fans really what we want, a great movie.

May the Force be with you…